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Monday, February 4, 2013

Super Sunday

My neighbors hosted a Super Bowl party and being the party animal that I am, I had to go see what all the fuss was about. First of all we've got the team names: the San Francisco Giants and the Baltimore Ravens. Oh, wait, the Giants are a baseball team, they are not playing here today. Still, The Giants would be a much better name for the team than the 49-er's. I mean 1849 was over 150 years ago, nobody cares anymore. And what's with the Ravens? Where did they come from? There wasn't any team called the Ravens last year, and here they are in the Super Bowl. The world really has gone crazy. I inquire as to the source of this inequity, and my Sports Authority, Wayne, tells me that they used to be the Cleveland Browns, but they moved to Baltimore and took the name The Ravens because Edgar Allan Poe was from Baltimore and he wrote "The Raven". Nevermore.

Jacoby Jones runs 108 yards for a touchdown in Super Bowl XLVII

     I take a break from feeding my face and sit down to watch a bit of the game just in time to see a Raven catch the kickoff ball in his end zone and then run 110 yards to the other end of the field and score a touchdown. Wait a minute, did that really just happen? This is football, I'm pretty sure that was illegal. Nobody scores a touchdown in one play. You need to go out on the field of battle and struggle and fight and scramble and squabble. You don't just go out and run the length of the field all at once. But that's what the dude did. Whoa.
    The game looked like it was going to be a blowout. At half time The Ravens were ahead something like 50 to 3, but then something happened and all of a sudden San Francisco scored a bunch of points and now they are within striking distance. From then on it was interesting game, or I was drunk. The last quarter was captivating.
    My Sports Authority spouted some interesting numbers. Average price for a Super Bowl ticket: $3500. Number of people in the stadium: 60,000. Then he tells us "this is nothing". There was a golf game in Phoenix this weekend and 180,000 spectators showed up. There are places on the course where they have stadium-like facilities for the spectators, and sometimes the roar of the crowd can be deafening.
     I watched a bit of the half time show. It didn't make a lot of sense. Bunch of half-naked women dressed in black leather gyrating on the stage with some kind of noise in the background and glowering at the cameras. What is she so pissed about?
    Super bowl ads are supposed to be something special but the only thing I remember is the dog slobber landing on some dude's windshield. Boring!
     The food was good and the people were entertaining. Well, at least they didn't throw me out.

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