Elephant Wrench

Friday Johnny and I replaced the leaking heater hose in the van (1995 Windstar). To get to it, we had to remove the alternator. To do that, we needed to get the serpentine belt off the alternator pulley. Well, it was not really necessary to unship the belt first. I think it would have come loose when we got the alternator loose. But how do you get it back on afterwards? I tried an adjustable wrench, but I could not pull it quite far enough to get enough slack in the belt to shift it off of the pulley. Then I remembered I had a large pipe wrench, and I thought it might work. So I got down my box of big, ugly iron tools, and lo and behold! An elephant wrench! Just what the doctor ordered! Put it on the tensioner, pulled, and the belt came off the pulley easy as pie. And what, you may ask, is an elephant wrench? Well, there are guns, and then there are elephant guns. This wrench is a large adjustable wrench. Johnny named it. It must be 18 inches long, and the head must be five inches in diameter. Andy gave it to me. He used to use it for fixing forklifts. I have had it for years, and I think this is the first time I have used it. Only problem was that after I got the belt off the alternator pulley, and I relaxed the pressure on the wrench, when it went back, it ran into the edge of the engine compartment, so I couldn't get it off the bolt. Fortunately, it wasn't in our way. It also means that if I had just dumped the belt off the pulley when I took out the alternator, I probably wouldn't be able to get the wrench on the tensioner at an angle that would allow me to compress it enough to get the belt back on. Oh well, no point in worrying about that now. So we got the alternator out of the way. Now to take the hose loose. The right hand (as you look at the engine) end of the hose is relatively easy to get off. It has a spring clamp holding it in place, and there is room to get to it with a pair of pliers. It is simply a matter of wrestling with it until it comes free. Well, maybe not that simple. I resort to cutting the hose to make it easier. The other end of the hose requires a decision. The hose connects to a Y-pipe that connects to the water pump and to another hose that runs off in back of the engine. It might be wise to replace the whole thing, but only this one piece is leaking and I want to finish this today, not in six months. So I decide to only replace the section of hose that is leaking and not the entire two hose and Y-pipe assembly. This requires cutting the crimp ring that secures the hose to the Y-pipe. It is aluminum, it is in the open, so it is easy enough to cut with a hacksaw. Well, at least most of it. Get down to the bitter end and the full hacksaw can't get to it. Pull the blade out of the saw, wrap a rag around one end for a handle and manage to get through the last little bit of the ring. A screwdriver works well to pry the ring open. The hose slides right off. Now it is off to the local NAPA auto parts store for a piece of hose and a couple of clamps. $7 and change. Sliding new hoses over fittings works better if there is some lubrication. Spit works well for this, though it grosses Johnny out. I can get the hose started on the one fitting, but it won't slide all the way on. Fuss and fume and finally go dig out some old spark-plug-wire-pulling pliers, they work surprisingly well. Now I am fussing with the other end, and I push down on the hose, which pushes down on a hard plastic vacuum line and snaps it in two. Bah! Now I have to replace it as well. We have the water hose on, so we postpone the vacuum hose till tomorrow. Saturday Johnny and I eventually get back to the auto parts store. The guy trys to find some fittings that will work but he is not having any luck. I finally ask for a generic PCV valve and some hose. This he manages to deliver. Meanwhile Johnny has found a package of magnetic tipped screwdrivers. I find magnetic tips more annoying than useful, but I do have one on my electric screwdriver. Johnny wants them for working on computers and he has money so we get them. The PVC valve is a valve, where as the old fitting is just that, it has no innards. So it behooves me to gut the PVC valve before using it. Clamp it gently in the vise and saw around the bottom with a hacksaw, very gently. The top end is plastic and we don't want to break it. Manage to get the end off and the guts out. File the burrs away and plug it into the valve cover. Fits fine. When I pulled the old fitting out a small pile of rust fell out. Can't imagine where it came from. Tried to use the old fitting, but ended up destroying it while trying to get the old vacuum line off. I think the tube was shrunk onto the fitting. The other end of the old tube plugs into a hole in the intake system. The new hose needs a fitting, so I end up using a short piece of the old vacuum line to adapt the new hose to the intake. Now for the alternator. Johnny manages to pinch his finger under the alternator while putting it back in. Other than that it goes in easy enough. Tighten the bolts, pull on the elephant wrench and slip the belt back on. Connect the wires to the alternator and battery, add some antifreeze to the overflow tank and we're done.