Figure 8 Hose Bucket

Coiling up and storing garden hoses is a real pain. I have tried a number of methods and none of them are worth a hoot. There is the old dump-it-in-a-heap and that probably works the best, though it usually takes up more space, looks sloppy, and can lead to frustrating tangles the next time you try and use it. There are the hose hangers that go on the wall, which resolve some issues, but add others. In order to deploy the hose, you need to lift the hose over the hook. If you have a light weight vinyl hose, or only need twenty feet or so, that's not too bad. A hundred feet of rubber hose filled with water is another matter. That is going to require a grunt or two to get it off the hook. Then when you stretch it out to use it, it twists. Eventually these twists will work their way to the nozzle end of the hose. That part is not too bad. I can deal with that. The problem comes when you try to coil the hose up and put it back on the hanger. Every loop of hose you put on the hanger puts a 360 degree twist on the rest of the hose. Some hoses will just kink every so often, but heavier hoses require some wrestling to force them into compliance.

Then there are hose buckets. That's what I am using now. I like them better than hangers. Stuff the hose in the bucket and you can't see how sloppy a job of coiling you did. Pull on the nozzle end of the hose and it comes out. You don't have to lift it off the hook.

I tried a hose reel once. It seemed like a really good idea, but the plastic ones just aren't up to job, no matter how big and fancy they are. I suppose one made of cast iron with a three foot long crank handle, and giant guide rollers would be okay. Some of the better plastic ones may be strong enough, but they need to bolted to the ground in order really be useful, and that kind of installation is just contrary to working in the yard. Hose reels also require sealed rotating couplings. Good couplings exist that do not leak, but they are rare, and seldom found in reels for water hoses. It doesn't really matter in this situation if it leaks, but criminently, here we are going to all this trouble to set up this complicated contraption, and it leaks! Bah.

I have a cardboard box in my garage that I use to store the hose for my air compressor. My technique for storing the hose is to just shove it in the box, hand over hand. The hose is fairly stiff, not like string, more like a garden hose. It goes in until it runs in the side of the box and then it bends and curls up and eventually it is all in the box. When I need some hose, I just pull on the end and out it comes.

While pushing the hose into the box I noticed that it tends to coil one way and then the other. It is almost like there is a center vertical panel dividing the box in two. First the hose makes a loop on one side, and then it crosses the center and makes a loop on the other side. It is like a series of figure eights laid one on top of the other and then folded in half.

I saw this once when some electricians were stringing some kind of thick cable where I worked. They laid out all the cable they needed in this same figure eight kind of arrangement on the floor. When they pulled it into the ceiling it uncoiled from the floor without a hitch. Smooth as silk.

So I am thinking I want a two-bucket bucket for storing garden hoses. It could be ceramic or steel (I have one of each) or even plastic. It should not be too difficult to come up with a shape that would work. Someone just would have to spend the time to do it. The best part about this is that there would be no moving parts. Actually, you would not even need a bucket. You could just dig a couple of holes in the ground.

P.S. And while we are on the subject of garden hoses, what is it with hose nozzles? Admittedly the water pressure at my house may be a little high (90 PSI when I measured it, what, 14 years ago?!?!), but how about a nozzle that doesn't leak, shuts off when you release the handle, does not corrode into uselessness in a single year, and does not land on the handle spraying all and sundry when you drop it? Is that asking too much?

Update December 2016 replaced missing pictures.