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Monday, September 20, 2010

No Fool Like An Old Fool

Stopped by Fred Meyers (local big box grocery store) after lunch today to return a $12 set of mixing bowls, an annoying but somewhat worthwhile task. When I get to the counter there are two people in front of me. The old fool at the counter is having some kind of extended discussion with the person behind the counter. I think he is buying hunting licenses. This is going to be bad. I don't know about other states, but hunting regulations in Oregon are insane. There are days and times and county lines and which side of what stream and what kind of animals can be taken and they go on for like a gazillion pages. I understand Freddie's wanting to be helpful, but would it have killed this old fool to figure out what he wanted before he got there? Well, maybe.

I get tired of waiting and go look for a piece of glass to replace the one I broke in Eugene yesterday. The bedroom light fixture in dutiful daughter's new apartment was flaking out, so I took a look at it. It has four tulip shaped glass shades around the bulbs. One of the bulbs was being flakey, so I tried another bulb. Somebody had kicked this bulb and put a dent in the threads, but hey, light bulb threads are not exactly precision machinery, let's try it anyway. I try it and it quickly gets jammed. Okay, it won't go in, I'll just unscrew it. Umm, we seem to have a problem here. Unscrewing the bulb causes the socket to start unscrewing from the fixture. I take the tulip shade loose and slide it down so I can try and grip the socket and keep it from turning. No luck. Fine. We'll smash the bulb, take the shade off, and dig the base of the bulb out of the socket with hammer and tongs. Put a paper bag over the bulb, locate the bulb by touch, whack it with the hammer. Doesn't break. Dang, what are they making light bulbs out of these days? Whack it harder and it breaks. Take the bag down and the bulb is still intact. I have managed to smash the tulip shaped glass shade. Great. Once more with the bag and hammer and this time I get it right and break the bulb. Now I can remove the remains of the broken shade, which allows me to get at the socket and remove the light bulb base from said socket.

But now I need a new tulip shaped glass shade, so I thought, since I was already going to Freddies, I would try them. They have some glass pieces, but no exact match. Oh well. Back to the returns desk. The old fool who was clogging up the works was still there, still fussing with his hunting licenses or whatever it was, but now we have an additional person working the desk. (What a good idea! What won't they think of next?) He takes care of the two people ahead of me and myself. I am leaving the store and the two people who were working on the hunting licenses when I got there are still working on them. I think that's one reason I don't go hunting.

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