MARC BY MARC JACOBS

The battery in my wife's watch died, so I took it to the Interstate Battery Store over by the Costco in Hillsboro to get a new one. Last time I needed a new watch battery I ended up replacing it myself because the nice lady at the jewelry store obviously wasn't interested in doing it. It wasn't especially difficult, just a little tedious. I usually go to a jewelry store for watch batteries because 1) I hate having to look all over the local mega-mart to find the coin cell display, 2) I hate having to look through all nine hundred batteries they have on display to see if they have the one I need, which means I need to open the watch and find my glasses so I can read the leetle teeny numbers stamped on the battery, and 3) they usually don't have it anyway. So I go, or rather went, to the jeweler. After this last go round, and with the wonderful luck I have been having with battery stores, I thought I would give this one a shot. No problemo, back of the watch pops off with a snap, I locate a couple of likely looking batteries and here the nice lady behind the counter offers to put it in for me. Well, how cool is that? Except it takes her a long time, so I walk over to check on her, and it's a stupid watch. You can't just pop the old battery out and pop in the new one, you have to loosen a couple of screws so you can move the teeny weeny retaining straps so you can get the battery out, and then after you get the new battery in you need to reposition the straps and tighten the screws. What. A. Pain. After endless agonizing minutes she accomplishes this task and now all we have to do is pop the back back on. Right, just line it up and give it a little squeeze. Hmmph. No go. No matter, nice lady has special, fancy schmancy press designed for just this task. Still no go. She hands it to me. I squeeze hard, but I am not feeling any motion. It's like the watch has turned into a rock, and the back is still sitting loose. Well this sucks. I take the watch home and put the back cover in the freezer overnight. Maybe that will help.

Today I tackled the watch again. Freezing the back did not help. Measuring the back and the hole I get a difference of about eight thousandths, which is a bit much for a press fit, but we aren't dealing with solid steel, so maybe all we need is a little force. So I get out my C-Clamp and a couple of sockets, line everything up, give the handle a couple of turns and stop. No pop. I was expecting a pop when the cover finally seated, but I got no sound at all. Is it in? Loosen the handle and check. Success! The lid is firmly in place. Now all we have to do is take it back to the store and complain that it died because even with the new battery it's still not working.
    MARC BY MARC JACOBS is the logo inscribed on the watch, not to be confused with Marc Jacobs the fashion designer who is the head designer for Marc Jacobs the fashion company. MARC BY MARC JACOBS is also designed by Marc Jacobs, but it is a "diffusion line", whatever that is.

Update January 14, 2012. Nordstrom replaced the watch, no questions asked.