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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Alcohol


There's something wrong with me, at least I think there is. That might be the whole problem right there: I think I am sick, therefor I am. I have numerous minor maladies, but in spite of a steady diet of doctors and witches I don't have any explanation for while I feel like crap so much of the time. Maybe it was my white bread upbringing, maybe it's the mind control aerosols that the government is using jet airliners to spray into the atmosphere. Maybe it's allergies. Maybe it's bad luck. Maybe there's nothing wrong me except that I am bored and my mind just magnifies any little ache or pain until it becomes incapacitating.
    On the other hand whatever-it-is might be the reason I am not an alcoholic. There were times when alcohol was a substantial part of my diet, but eventually I would get an attack of whatever-it-is and I would feel so bad that I didn't care if I got another drink. So maybe it's some kind of survival mechanism.
    I recently finished reading Nemesis by Jo Nesbo, a Norwegian murder mystery. The hero, Harry Hole (Harry Hole? You're kidding, right? Unfortunately, no.), like all good storybook detectives has a drinking problem. My problem was that he didn't seem to have any problem turning his drinking off and on. From what I know about alcohol, that is virtually impossible, at least not without serious consequences, like the shakes. Seems I might be wrong about that:
High-functioning alcoholics also may not be physically addicted to alcohol, abstaining for days or weeks without suffering withdrawal symptoms.
    We've been watching Hell On Wheels and drinking whiskey seems to be everyone's main occupation. The whiskey has a brown tint, like good bourbon or scotch, but that's just artistic license. The labels say, plain as day, "Corn Whiskey", which you used to be able to buy at the liquor store, and it's clear as glass. The brown tint in good whiskey comes from aging it in charred oak barrels. Back in 1870, when they were building the railroad, whiskey was lucky if it got aged two weeks, and that was only because it took that long to haul it to the end of the railroad.
    Whiskey can substitute for food, at least for a while. It is not a good substitute, but it does provide calories and it can keep you going. Your body metabolizes alcohol into sugar, which can then be used to provide energy. You have the side effect of being drunk all the time, but evidently some people adapt. They're what we call functional alcoholics. Drink all day long but never appear drunk. Charge on regardless.
    Flight with Denzel Washington was about such a person. He is flying under the radar, so to speak, until there is a crisis and he heroically saves a planeload of people. But now he is under the media spotlight and all his sins are revealed. He isn't the only one.
    I tried to find some kind of estimate of how many alcoholics there are in the USA, or anywhere for that matter, and could not find any that were worth quoting. Things "like half of everyone has too much to drink at least once in their life" doesn't really tell me anything useful.
    So back in the 1800's everyone drank whiskey all the time. It was a good source of calories, didn't spoil, and disinfected everything it came in contact with. Whiskey probably saved a lot of lives. But by 1900 it was getting out of hand, and Carrie Nation and her ax swinging sisterhood was determined to put a stop to it, which is how we got prohibition.

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