Purple Prose Morning

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Steeling himself for battle, Fyandor, the oldest and bravest of the lamps, proclaimed, 'Nay, foul wind, this will not be the night of our extinguishment!' " 

Winner of the Paul Clifford contest in 2003. The first sentence in this pair of sentences is the first sentence from Paul Clifford (1830) by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, whose name has been enshrined as the annual awful opening lines contest. The second sentence is from some anonymous prankster. Via Iowa Andy.