Months

Dates are critical, especially so during witch hunts when it is absolutely vital that we find out who knew what and when they knew it. And nothing is more frustrating to the zealous prosecutor than to get the dates confused because someone used the wrong format, saying 5/6/7 instead of the proper form of 7/5/6, or was it 6/5/7? Fortunately we've moved into the two thousand teens, so we will no longer get the year confused with the month, but through diligence I am sure we can manage to confuse the month with the day or the day with the year.
    We can use three letter abbreviations for the month, which only carries a single character penalty, but really, why can't we use just a single character for the month? I mean we have 26 letters and only twelve months, we should be able to come up with some kind assignment that would be mnemonic, and shoot, let's go for broke, let's make it in alphabetical order as well!
    So I was musing on this subject and I started trying to make one up. It wasn't too hard, and I do believe it is perfect for the task.

•            JAnuary
•           FeBruary
•         MarCh
•            ADvil for April because taxes give us headaches
•            MEi for May because those foreign devils can't spell
•              Fun for June because school is out in June
•              Guly for July because G sometimes sounds like J
•  August is Hot
•              I go back to school in September
•              Jack-O-Lanterns in October
•              Kill a turkey for Thanksgiving in November
• Everybody Loves Christmas in December

Ok, it's a little USA-centric, but you may as well get used it because USA-culture will soon dominate the world! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!