Water

Smart Water Bottle

Which is more ridiculous, buying water in disposable bottles, or buying a reusable bottle that you have to keep track of and care for? And when did it become necessary to carry a bottle of water around with you? Back in the good old days we used to drink beer. Nobody drank water. What has happened to us? This country is going to hell in a handbasket, I tell you. And get off of my lawn.
    There are drinking fountains in airports, but they are at the end of the mile long concourse, next to the restrooms. And you can get a drink on the airplane, if you are awake when they are passing out drinks. And you can usually get a cup of water at a fast food joint when you buy your hamburger, but it's one of those really flimsy cups that you have to hold oh-so-delicately so that it doesn't collapse and spill your precious life-giving fluid all over the table where is soaks your french fries and ruins your life. So you can get by without a water bottle, but sometimes it's just easier to buy one.


How Many DJ's Does It Take to Open A Bottle of Smart Water?
    I first got a bottle of smartwater at the international concourse in Atlanta. I couldn't figure out how to open it, I had to ask. This particular bottle has a pop top that covers the nozzle. The pop top is hinged on one side and there is partial ring that covers the rest of the space between the base cap and the pop top. At one end of the partial ring there is a little tiny tab that you can pop out with your fingernail. Then you can grab the end and pull the rest of the ring off, which releases the pop top, which you can now pop open and get your drink.
    So the pop top is nice, you can open it with one hand, and it stays attached to the bottle so you aren't in danger of losing it. And it's disposable, no cleaning involved, and if you misplace it, no big loss.
    I've been buying them ever since whenever I am traveling by air or on the road. On the road it gives you something to buy when you stop at a truck stop to use the restroom. It's only fair.

   At home we've taken to drinking lemon flavored sparkling water. It's cold, it's wet, it's fizzy, and there's no calories or weird artificial sweeteners. We buy it by the case for $3.60 which includes the nickel bottle deposit. That works out to 30 cents a can, which in this day, when a dollar is like the smallest denomination worth bothering with, is like free.

Nice! Sparkling Water

I picked up a bottle of Nice! sparkling water the other day. No calories, which is good for someone trying to avoid sugar, and no warnings, but it's sweet! What the heck? I examine the bottle when I get home and I find sucralose in the ingredients list. Sucralose is an artificial sweetner, but there's no label warning about artificial sweetners. Bah, double bah and humbug. All kinds of warning labels out there but not the one I wanted.