Pedestrianism

Pedestrianism

I picked up a copy of Willamette Week, a free, wacky, Portland tabloid. Amongst all the dreck there is usually a gem. This one is from Dr. Know.

Recently, I was nearly run over by an oblivious driver. Ecological considerations aside, wouldn't I personally be safer if I chose to drive instead of walk? Or should I consider my willingness to be a pedestrian fatality statistic the best way to serve my city?—E.P.
Your question, E., balances the narrow self-interest of the individual against the greater good of society in a way that might be well-illuminated by Kant's concept of the Categorical Imperative. That said, I'm probably not the best person to explore that with you, given that I barely remembered to write a column at all this week.
Indeed, it's this kind of thing that makes me wonder whether I might actually be in some kind of institution, with a journalistic "career" that consists of scribbling phrases like "DOOKIE! LOL" on paper towels and having passionate arguments about comma placement with a fire extinguisher.
In any case, you're correct in your suspicion that, mile for mile, you are more likely to meet with a fatal accident while walking than while driving—but it's still not very likely.
Also, before we start slagging on pedestrian travel as a George Romero-esque bloodbath, we should note that walking brings benefits that mitigate its risks.  A study published in the BMJ found that people who walked six miles a week reduced their risk of dying from heart disease by 36 percent.
But back to the bloodbath: Generalized statistics for the Western world show about one accidental death for every 17 million pedestrian miles traveled. The figure for motorists is around 200 million miles, so driving is, in this sense, a little over 10 times safer.
However, the average pedestrian's speed is only around 2.8 mph. The average motorist's speed—as in the total number of miles traveled per hour behind the wheel, including traffic, stoplights, pulling over to screw around with your phone, etc.—is surprisingly difficult to find, but it doesn't strain credulity to imagine a figure on the order of 25 to 30 miles per hour, if not more. Thus, in terms of chance of dying per hour spent traveling, driving versus walking is probably very close to a wash.
Of course, airline travel—even on Delta—leaves both of these in the dust. The moral of the story: If you have a chance to catch a commercial flight to the liquor store, ditch the land travel and take it.

Driving in downtown Portland is more akin to navigating a parking lot than traveling. You only average about 3 MPH and no matter where you want to go, you can't get there without making a dozen turns and going around the block at least twice.

Germantown road on the weekends isn't much better. The road cuts through Forest Park and there are several wide spots along the way where people park their cars before they trek off into the woods. There are always a few cars there even on days like today when it's cold and wet, but it gets crowded on weekends. Mostly these don't cause any problem, but occasionally someone will attempt to walk along the road and that is never a good idea. It's a two lane asphalt road with a double yellow line down the middle and white 'fog' lines along the edge. The pavement extends about a foot past the fog line. After that you are in the ditch or falling down the hill.

John and I came down this road one Saturday. We come around a corner and encounter a fitness nut running up the road on this narrow to non-existent strip of asphalt. He sees us come around the corner and spreads his arms with an expression of 'what are you doing here?' on his face. We're driving down the road in an armored conveyance, what are you doing here? Trying to put an end to your miserable existence? Moron.

P.S. I have no idea what 'Kant's Categorical Imperative' is, but it was a heck of a way to open his response.