Effing Portland

Family Guy- Pepperidge Farm Remembers
Switch3000
We drove into Portland on Sunday to see a play at Portland Center Stage in the old Armory building. The show was great, but there was a short spiel at the beginning about American Indian tribes and land, and I thought this is just effing typical of these accursed limousine Bolsheviks. They can't do anything about any of the real problems facing the city, but they can cry about imaginary problems.

 When we are walking back to the car after the show there is a crazy man on the street hollering about who knows what. I ignored him, crazy people hollering is a common occurrence in downtown Portland. Ignoring them usually works, look at them or speak to them and they will latch onto you and start directing their attention to you. At that point, if you have been well brought up, it is hard to just walk away, so the trick is to just never acknowledge their existence. You want to spend your time listening to crazy people rant, go ahead on, I'll let you, but me, I've heard enough and I'm not interested in hearing any more.

This time he is walking the same way as we are and follows us into the parking garage where he finds a couple of women who make the mistake of drawing his attention. I debated calling the police, this guy was obviously agitated, but by the time I got in my car the two women had escaped his attention and had left the garage.

We heard another crazy hollering as we drove toward the freeway on-ramp. One is common enough, but two in one day is rare.

I was downtown again today and on my way out I'm approaching an intersection. I have the green light but there is some decrepit dude with a garbage bag shuffling across the street. I wait patiently for him to cross. It's not like I'm going anywhere, this is downtown Portland, parking lot of the homeless after all. Several blocks later on I'm on the gas heading for a green light and what looks like another crazy man staggers into the intersection, his arms windmilling. I hit the brakes and stopped. Turns out he wasn't crazy-crazy, he was just a crazy stupid skateboarder who lost control of his board coming down a hill. He grabbed his board and took off. I might should have yelled at him, but I was a bit shocked, and I think he was properly terrified, so hopefully he learned a lesson.

Video via The Feral Irishman