Telephone Heck

Hell Phone

I hate talking to medical offices on the phone. They never answer the phone in person, it's always some robo-cop menu system and they always start with a whole bunch of bullshit that you neither want to know or hear. First they tell you to call 911 if you are dying. I should put that on my voice mail. Then it's lecture about COVID, a dissertation on minority rights, the punch-a-button directives, and just when you think you've run the gauntlet, they hit you with a notice that they are experiencing high call volumes. No shit, sherlock. You get through all that and then you get to leave message. Took all my self control not to leave a endless string of expletives. Effing a-holes.

How much time does America collectively spend on hold waiting to talk to an actual person who can deal with their inscrutable scheduling program? I understand why they do it. Making you wait costs them nothing except they might lose you as a customer, IF you could find a doctor that didn't have an underpaid phone drone fully equipped with the latest in automatic bullshit machinery. But hiring drones to answer the phone costs money, money that is coming out of their pocket, which they are loathe to give up given that they have sacrificed better than ten years of their life to get to the top of the heap. Pity the poor phone drones, unappreciated, underpaid and unloved. Very sad.

OHSU is the worst. I had to deal with them to get an X-ray and now I'm trying to schedule an appointment with physical therapy. This is second time I've tried to schedule a PT appointment. If this time isn't a charm, I'm goin' somewhere else. Montana maybe.

I tried to get the result from a blood test yesterday from Quest Diagnostics. What a load of horseshit. Who are you? Where do you live? Who do you pray to? Are you sure? Maybe I worship the devil you frigging morons. Criminently, never seen so much back and forth bullshit.

Just remember that computers are making our life better. Just like Joe Biden is the best president ever.