Civil Behavior

I saw this on the comics page this morning and it really struck a chord with me.

Sally Forth

Or maybe it was a nerve. It reminded me of times when I have run into someone being unpleasant and thought, well fine, if they want to be like that, let them have their way. My excuse was that it, whatever it was, wasn't all that important to me. I also realized that I generally had a way out of the situation. Typically I could just leave, I was never in place where I felt like I was cornered.

I am a bit rough around the edges. Actually very rough, according to my wife. I like to say that her meanest is nicer than my nicest. I don't know if that is true, but I like to say it anyway.

For example: phone calls from people we don't know. You know, telemarketers, charities, surveys. Mostly I just hang up on them. Sometimes I will tell them not to call here anymore. Okay, sometimes I bark at them. She thinks I am being rude, but I don't think I am being any ruder than they are, and turn about is fair play.

And then there are times when she will tell me I am being rude and I will have absolutely no idea what she is talking about. I think part of it is genetic, and part of it was the way we were raised, and part of it was our environment. Both her parents and both of my parents had college educations and had professional careers, for at least a while. She was raised in a small town where everybody knew everybody else's business. I was raised in a succession of big cities where we hardly knew anybody.

Some of my friends have told me I can be blunt and abrasive. I really don't know what they are talking about. I have tried to be milder, but since I really don't understand what the problem is, I have a hard time figuring out what they want. The few times someone has been able to point out what they saw as a problem I was all like, what? No way! You're kidding, right? But I can't really remember the details of any of those instances. They were not that interesting.

Then there's the line from Heinlein: "An armed society is a polite society." Since most of us go around unarmed most of the time, I wonder if maybe we don't really want a polite society. Or maybe "we" learned from dueling. Upper class people used to go around armed with swords all the time, and the least little offense could lead to a duel and someone's death. Eventually dueling was outlawed.

But now, looking for a reference for Heinlein's quote, I find this post that references an old story from the BBC about how peaceful Brits find America compared to London. Well, maybe they were comparing good parts of America to bad parts of Britain. It was a shock to read it.

Anyway, the whole point of this was supposed to be that some people get their way just by being rude and pushy, and if you can do anything about it you should call them on it.

Update December 2016 replaced missing picture.