Flame throwers are terrifying, much more so than guns or bombs, at least to my mind. I suppose it has to do with the amount of pain any kind of burn generates. Everyone gets burned sooner or later, and that pretty much ensures that you will have a very strong aversion to getting burned again. I suppose it's because of the large number of nerve endings in your skin, and that's where burns happen. A burn may not incapacitate you in any physical way, but even a little burn will sure as heck get your attention.
I suspect this also makes people reluctant to use fire as a weapon, but when you have an implacable enemy who is causing damage to your people, I can see where you could lose any feelings of fair play and just not care anymore about being 'civilized'. Plus getting shot by a gun will either kill you outright, in which case your suffering will be minimal, or you will fully recover. At least that's what happens in the movies. We won't talk about those people who survived getting shot but are still suffering.
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