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Showing posts with label Just Slightly Incoherent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Just Slightly Incoherent. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

California Bob Writes Again

Transcript from this morning's "LIVE CHAT" with an AT&T internet rep. Just think, if I were employed, I wouldn't get to do this stuff:

AT&T product specialists are happy to assist you with your questions. Click below to begin your live text chat.

Welcome to AT&T. My name is Jack. How may I help you today?
Jack: I will be happy to answer your questions regarding AT&T services. I specialize in setting up new phone accounts and High Speed Internet service.
Jack: Hello! How may I assist you?
you: Interested in Pro DSL for $30 a month with no term commitment and $50 cash back. How do I order?
Jack: That's a great choice!
Jack: Please Select the Pro plan according to your needs during the order process, add that to your cart, and proceed with your order process.
you: OK, I choose "check availability" -- it is available;
you: then I choose "new customer-DSL Only" --
Jack: Yes, that is correct.
you: under "month to month" it offers only "High Speed Internet Direct Express" for $35 -- I don't see my offer available.
Jack: Do you currently have local service with AT&T?
you: no.
Jack: As per current online promotions the best online prices and promotions are only available when you order both AT&T Internet and Phone Services or if you currently have AT&T Phone Services.
Jack: Are you interested in setting up basic local phone service with AT&T to qualify for our online offers and promotions?
you: “FREE wireless gateway or modem after rebate $50 Cash Back when you order online No term commitment required AT&T Basic Wi-Fi included at thousands of hotspots, including U.S. company-operated Starbucks locations equipped with a hotspot.* Includes AT&T Internet Security Suite – powered by McAfee”
you: Doesn't say anything about "for existing customers only"
Jack: That is for the new customers as well who is placing the order for Internet with Phone as well.
you: It doesn't say that anywhere that I can see, but OK. Let me surf your site a little more and see if there's anything else that's sounds interesting; I can then contact you again and ask about all the restrictions and disclaimers.
Jack: AT&T Basic phone service (Measure rate plan) will cost you around $7.28 a month.
Jack: If you go with the Phone + Pro then the Pro will cost you $30/ month & you will get $50 cash back.
you: What is the contract term length?
Jack: There is no contract with AT&T service so you can move/cancel your services at any point of time.
you: What are the set-up fees and charges?
Jack: There is no set up fees.
you: Is there any equipment (modem) to rent and what are the charges for that?
Jack: You will get free Modem/Wireless gateway.
Jack: I can offer additional $75 cash back for ordering Pro with the Home phone plan from my department, if you place an online order with me today.
you: If I choose to cancel, what are the charges/surcharges to cancel?
Jack: There is no cancellation charges.
Jack: That means if you order with me you will get $125 cash back.
Jack: How does that sound to you?
you: So to recap: $7.28/mo. for the phone service, and $30/mo. for the Pro DSL internet service, and I get $125 cash back?
Jack: Yes, you are right.
Jack: You will get check that you can cash it through the bank.
Jack: Click here & get started with your online order.
Jack: Are you able to proceed with the online order?
you: i'm working through the pages...
you: ... got measured rate...
you: ...directories, something about long distance and tolls.....
you: “Because you did not choose AT&T Long Distance as your long distance and/or local toll provider, the money saving bundles are not available. If you would like to order a bundle plan, please return to the Select Long Distance and Local Toll providers page and change your long distance and your local toll provider to AT&T. “
Jack: Yes, please select, AT&T as local and long distance toll provider and then 'Stand Alone Products'. By doing so you would be able to select 'Pro plan'.
you: (*&^% -- now I have to read up on the costs for ATT LD and toll service calls, whatever those are...give me an hour...
Jack: You would need to select AT&T as your local and long distance toll provider. There is no additional charge for that.
you: Sure you say that now...then when my bill comes, it'll be all, "Oh, special surcharges for long distance setup and conversion,
you: FCC mandated tax burdens...
you: give me a sec.
Jack: There are no hidden charges. AT&T believes in transparent business with their customers.
you: I can see they believe in transparency, that is evident from all the special restrictions and conditions.
you: Must be frustrating working for an outfit like that.

you: Jack? Are you there?


Jack: To offer you that additional cash back I would need your order confirmation number.

Jack: Have you been able to find everything that you have been looking for?
you: working on it.
you: bunch of phone options..."call forwarding," etc. Does anybody really buy this junk?
you: "priority ringing" -- PLEASE....
Jack: Please select "NOT AT THIS TIME" option & proceed.
you: OK, free modem after rebate -- any estimate on the tax and S/H charges for this modem?
Jack: There is a one time charge for shipping & handling that is $12.95
you: thx.
Jack: Once you hit the Check Out Button let me know.
you: OK, I have my summary page with $37.28 recurring monthly charges -- any promotion code I should enter?
Jack: There is no need to enter any code during the order process to get the online promotions.
you: C'mon, give me a promotion code...
you: ...be a sport...
you: ...all this time we've spent together...
Jack: Please try not to stay on a page for too long, as it may result in a timeout session.
you: I'm sorry, my conditions stipulate that I need a 30% discount to sign up for internet service.
you: I have a very nice internet company from New Jersey who is VERY interested in having me as a customer...
you: no pressure...
Jack: I assure you that if you are ordering both the services with me now, you will get great promotions.
you: what is this "install date?" Do I care, if I am doing a self-install?
Jack: Click on "Yes" and proceed. Please do not change the activation date to avoid getting an error on the order page.

Jack: As you proceed, You need to fill in all the information asked in asterisk mark (*) and continue.
you: the asterisks are the least of my problems.
you: Order Number: KYH3FCG.
Jack: One moment please.
Jack: Thank you for the information.
Jack: In about 6 weeks, the extra cash back that I gave you will display at the AT&T Reward Center. At that time, please redeem by going to http://rewardcenter.att.com . Enter your Home Telephone Number, check the Residential box, hit continue, then follow the onscreen instructions.
Jack: You will get check that you can cash it through the bank.
Jack: How was your chat experience with us today?

you: Frustrating, existential, yet amusingly alienating.

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Official Website of the Prophet Mohammed

There are Muslims and there are Muslims, just like there are Christians and then there are Christians. Some people subscribe (regardless of their religion) to the "you pray your way, and I'll pray mine" point of view. Others do not. Some religions carry the "we are chosen people of god and everyone else is a heathen" to the point where they should not be allowed to mix with civilized people. Or else we should ALL get out our whacking sticks and join in the slaughter.

There is something fundamentally wrong with our relationship with Saudi Arabia.

Mohammed has a website. You will be offended. I hope.

Got started down this track via a post from Dustbury.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Forever War

Soldiers in the Forever War
"The Forever War" is one of the great Science Fiction novels of all time, written by Joe Haldeman sometime in the 20th Century.

You could use that title to describe the war between the sexes, to wit: roughly 2700 years ago Hesiod wrote:
"From her is the race of women and female kind, of her is the deadly race and tribe of women who live amongst mortal men to their great trouble, no helpmeets in hateful poverty, but only in wealth."
Geez, think he was a little down on women when he wrote that? I got here by following a link to Wikipedia from Stu Savory. I found the picture while I was looking for book covers, and I just really like it.

Update December 2016 replaced missing picture.