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Thursday, December 11, 2025

Down Cemetery Road — Apple TV Series


Down Cemetery Road — Official Trailer | Apple TV
Apple TV

This might be a thriller, but it's a bit of a mess, but that is probably why it's so entertaining. We've got a bunch of curious characters, a bunch of villains, and a bunch of incompetence. It's all tied to the Ministry of Defense trying to erase the evidence of a chemical warfare experiment gone horribly wrong, all told in a fairly light-hearted fashion.

Our girl, Sarah, is played by Ruth Wilson, famous (to us, anyway) for playing the psychopath Alice in the series Luther with Idris Elba.

Headliner Emma Thompson plays Zoë Boehm, a private investigator. She and Sarah are the driving forces in this show, i.e. the troublemakers that C wants to shut up.

Adeel Akhtar plays Hamza Malik, or maybe Malik Hamza. In the cast he is listed as Hamza, but in the show he is always referred to as Malik, except for one case when his full name is used, but I can't remember which way it goes. Whatever. We've seen him in other shows, usually as a peripheral character, often as a policeman. In any case, this time he plays a fumbling, fawning toady, totally out of his depth, who has inexplicably been put in charge of the clean up operation. His  spectacular incompetence makes me wonder how he got put in charge of anything. I dunno, maybe only incompetent people are willing to work at such jobs because that is the only kind of job they can get. All you have to do is be willing to do whatever you are told.

The title comes from the poem Toads Revisited by Philip Larkin. Kind of a grim little piece.

ActorSurnameTitleCharacterSurnameRole
EmmaThompsonZoëBoehmLead, Joe's wife and partner
RuthWilsonSarahTraffordOur girl
AdeelAkhtarHamzaMalik
Tool for C
DarrenBoydC.Villain, head of some MoD outfit
FehintiBalogunAmosCraneKiller, brother of Alex aka Rufus
NathanStewart-JarrettDowneySoldier, survivor of chemical weapon attack
EllaBruccoleriNurseStephRicciBabysitter
IvyQuoiDinahSingletonLittle girl
AaronNeilDIAshVarmaPolice
LydiaLeonardTaliaRossDefence Secretary
SaraKestelmanJaniceJoe's mother
JoshuaJamesWayneMortician / Computer hacker
PipTorrensDr.IsaacWrightTool for C
IoannaKimbookCheskiGalanisAssistant to Defence Secretary
GaryLewisCaptainDonnyPolice
SineadMatthewsDeniseaka Wigwam, hippie chick, friend of Sarah's
KenNwosuRufusaka Alex, killer, brother of Amos
TomRileyMarkOur girl's twat of a husband
TomGoodman-HillGerardRich douchebag, Paula's husband
AdamGodleyJoeSilvermannZoë's husband, Private Investigator
SophiaBrownEllaDowneyDowney's sister
StevenCreeBobPolandPolice
AiyshaHartPaulaGerard's wife



8 episodes 50 minutes each.


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